Tom, Tom, Tom....

I remeber some advice my mother gave me a long time ago. She said this long before i got married, in fact I think she told me this before I even started dating. she said 'Don't ever date or marry man thinking you are going to change him....it never works.". Oh how right she was. Of course I went through several years of dating the wrong guy and was absolutely sure that with enough perserverence he would change to the"man I knew he could be" Blah Blah Blah. Mom was right it absolutley doesn't work. So when I met Tom I made a decision to love him for who he is, The good things: his incredible love for me and his kids, his ability to make anything fun, always being the life of the party, and his never-ending generosity. The things I had to accept: His ex-wife and the child-support payment that comes with her, always being the life of the party (yes both good and bad) and his unbeliveable stubborness. When Tom puts his mind to something there is no stopping him. So when he came home and had done this to his truck, there wasn't much I could say. There it is in all its glory: Tom's Bud Light Mobile. I think he did it just so I wouldn't drive his baby....cuz I sure ain't driving the kids around in that thing!

Gotta Love the South

I think there is a misunderstanding between southerners and northerners I feel obligated to explain. First I should say (so I can prove my expertise on the subject) I still consider my self a northerner who has now lived in the South 10 long years. I was thinking about the term "southern hospitality" the other day and how so many people - especially northerners -misunderstand exactly what this entails. This came about because I had bought a necklace for my sister Shari for Christmas through Walmart.com. The clasp broke within 2 weeks and she tried to return it to the store. They told her she had to return it through the mail because it was bought online. She, of course, was not happy with this and asked to speak to the manager. In the end, they replaced the clasp with one from another necklace. As she told me the story and retold her frustrations with the girl at the counter, I tried to imagine that same scenario in my local walmart. The story would tell more like this ......"I went to the store and waited 20 minutes for anyone to notice I was at the jewelry counter, once they did come to the counter and stopped talking to their co-worker I was told "No" and they looked at me with a complete look of indifference and walked away." This is what got me thinking about how different the customer service is here vs. what I experience when I head back up north for a visit and how so many visitors to our Island are flabbergasted by the lack of "good customer service" here in the South. I think too many people associate that good 'ol boy friendly southern hospitality with a willingness to work. I have often said that I am born of the "Midwest mentality". You grow up - go to work everyday - work hard and don't rock and boats - have a family - retire - and die. It's the working hard part that is different for those south of the Mason/Dixon line. Webster defines the term hospitable as "given to generous and cordial reception of guests." This is important to note because I have witnessed countless times southerners opening their homes for huge feasts. But this friendly sit-around-all-day sipping iced tea and eating shrimp tends not to follow these folk into the workplace. It is not uncommon to have to wait for a customer service rep at a store to finish a conversation about Bubba's new girlfriend before they look at you. I know most people take this as extremely rude - but to southerners, there is nothing so urgent that needs to be done before the thing they are currently doing. You may be wondering why I stay here if I'm complaining so much about the people I've lived among for 10 years - but I'm not complaining! I have completely accepted the fact that I may not get all my questions answered or will have to wait a little longer in line. I know that 'Southern Hospitality" does not extend as far as the Walmart on 278 in Hardeeville - it's stops at their front door.

My wonderful, pain-in-the-butt 3-year-old

My faith had been restored in my parenting skills and my son. We went to a party last night at one of Tom's co-worker's house. I was apprehensive about going because the host has no children, and we weren't sure if anyone who was coming had children either. We've been invited to plenty of parties where the hosts say "oh it's fine-definitely bring the kids, we'd love to see them!" Then my kids get to their immaculate home expensively decorated with items that probably cost more than I make in a year. I spend much of the time running after Chris and yelling at TJ. Not much fun for me or the kids. But last night we had a great time. The house was fairly kid-friendly (turns out she has grand kids) and there were four other kids there. But here's what really got me, there was a 3 year old boy there who was an absolute BRAT! As soon as we walked through the door he stood in the corner of the room with arms crossed screaming "I don't WANT to play with HIM". while pointing at TJ. He stole TJ and Chris' toys and grabbed both their juice boxes right out of their hands and drank them. The whole night I tried to figure out which adult belonged to this demon child - it was difficult since no one was disciplining him. I finally pin-pointed the mother out to be the woman who sat on the couch all night not speaking to anyone, including her child. I guess if my kid behaved that way, maybe I wouldn't want to claim him either. But, as I said earlier, I now have new faith in myself as a parent. TJ may be a very energetic child who constantly pushes boundaries, but at least he has boundaries. He is always mindfull of other kids (especially his brother) and very polite to adults - most of the time! The boy last night reminded me of a couple of things: First -TJ is a good kid, he loves to test and push me to my limit, but overall he IS a good kid! And second - Parenting is difficult and being constantly aware of your child's behavior is the first sign you are a good parent.

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year

We made it! The holidays are officailly over, the decorations are almost down, presents are put away and I have to go back to work after nearly 12 days off. I think we had a successfull Christmas. This may be first year the girls are happy with all their presents and we didn't have to return anything - except the camera Jeannelle dropped down the stairs 2 days after Christmas. Anyone who thinks God doesn't have a sense of humor should talk to my mother about my childhood and then meet my kids. Jeannelle definatlely has inheritated by "irresponsible" gene. Yes I know she can't actually "inherit" anything from me, but I have flash backs everytime she's searching the house frantlically for the gift cards she got just 3 days ago, or trying to explain why it wasn't her fault she broke another camera/nintendo/phone. Mom - I've said it before - I AM SO SORRY!
And then there's TJ. We went to Old Navy to spend some gift card money and I had to practically strap TJ to the cart to get him to sit still. He hid under the clothing racks, ran through the store, and eventually climbed up the side of shopping cart knocking it over with his brother still in the seat - strapped in of course, but little good it did as Chris' head hit the metal rack 3 times on the way down. He is rambuctious child - and even more so when we are off our routine. I guess the holidays are stressfull on everyone - even the kids. It will actually be good to go back to work and get our schedule down again. But overall, This was one of the best Christmas' we've had. Four kids in the house always makes things interesting and we had a blast with them.