Thursday, December 25, 2008
Wednesday, December 17, 2008
Treading Water
I am writing this morning to purge myself of some negative, self-pitying thoughts that are consuming me. I will spill them out onto this page and be done with them.....
Tom and I made several bad decisions a few years ago. It started with listening whole-heartily to the wrong people and not taking the smart advice of the right people. That' is when we stepped into owing/operating Tapas restaurant. From there, we made a further disastrous decision by leasing-to-own and eventually buying our current house. We have since sold the restaurant, but in order to do this - we lumped all the debt and, essentially, all the bad decisions into this house. So now we are selling the house.
All of this is important because I have been told and believed for a long time that Tom and I just had bad luck. If anything could go wrong - it would. So Last night, just when I was starting to feel really good about the direction we were heading with our future financially, our bathtub leaked and flooded our entire laundry room downstairs. Most likely the ceiling and the bathtub will have to be replaced. Financial emergency - Again. But I am writing this to remind myself of a few things: 1) God is in control now. For the first time ever I have turned my finances over to him and I know he will take care of me. 2) This directly relates to decisions we made 5 years ago. Tom and I are still dealing with those same rash decisions that we made so long ago.
However, this is a light at the end of this long tunnel. I truly believe that with the sale of the house (once we repair it) that we will be saying goodbye to our old way of decision making for good. We will literally close the door on a chapter in our lives that brought upon much stress and anguish -which was entirely self-inflicted. I am so ready to start this life that it's killing me. But again, I remind myself that God is in charge, and learning patience is part of the process. So I will continue to plug along and tread water until his plan for us is revealed.....but I can still pray that it comes sooner rather than later!
Tom and I made several bad decisions a few years ago. It started with listening whole-heartily to the wrong people and not taking the smart advice of the right people. That' is when we stepped into owing/operating Tapas restaurant. From there, we made a further disastrous decision by leasing-to-own and eventually buying our current house. We have since sold the restaurant, but in order to do this - we lumped all the debt and, essentially, all the bad decisions into this house. So now we are selling the house.
All of this is important because I have been told and believed for a long time that Tom and I just had bad luck. If anything could go wrong - it would. So Last night, just when I was starting to feel really good about the direction we were heading with our future financially, our bathtub leaked and flooded our entire laundry room downstairs. Most likely the ceiling and the bathtub will have to be replaced. Financial emergency - Again. But I am writing this to remind myself of a few things: 1) God is in control now. For the first time ever I have turned my finances over to him and I know he will take care of me. 2) This directly relates to decisions we made 5 years ago. Tom and I are still dealing with those same rash decisions that we made so long ago.
However, this is a light at the end of this long tunnel. I truly believe that with the sale of the house (once we repair it) that we will be saying goodbye to our old way of decision making for good. We will literally close the door on a chapter in our lives that brought upon much stress and anguish -which was entirely self-inflicted. I am so ready to start this life that it's killing me. But again, I remind myself that God is in charge, and learning patience is part of the process. So I will continue to plug along and tread water until his plan for us is revealed.....but I can still pray that it comes sooner rather than later!
Wednesday, December 10, 2008
Some time this Fall, I think it was mid-September, I went into a blurry haze of sleep deprivation that I'm finally starting to awaken from. Within this time of fogginess a few key things have happened: Chris turned 2 and started talking, We put our house on the market, I cut my foot on a ceramic cupcake and gained 10 lbs. and most importantly I finally let go of my control issues with money and am letting God rule my finances. With all the madness of life I missed posting my Thanksgiving list of things I'm thankful for. So here it goes.....
I am unbelievably, undeniably thankful for:
God's grace - he is constantly picking me back up
TJ, Chris, and Tom - they are why I get out of bed each morning
Mom & Dad who always have good advice, even if I don't take it
My sisters who listen unconditionally to my babble and forgive my self-centeredness
My best friend kelly and her beautiful new baby girl - Emmary
My job and Tom's job - just the fact that we still have one, so many people don't this holiday
Saxby-Chambliss won GA and the democrats don't have full control of the house :)
Tacos - so easy to make and soooooo good!
Christmas Trees farms and hot chocolate - even when it's 70 degrees out
my electric toothbrush
Books on CD
The Fox news channel on Sirius Satellite radio
Heroes - so worth staying up for on Monday nights
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