Date Night

Tom and I went up to Charleston last night for a food show and the kids stayed with mom. I think I'm in shock from having a whole 24 hours of just Tom and I to ourselves. We left yesterday (yes we took the bud Light truck) and checked in the Hilton Garden in North Charleston. We were supposed to go a reception for Sysco customers that night - free dinner, drinks and dancing - which of course meant that Tom and I decided not to go. Free or not, neither of us were in any mood to go dancing. So instead we headed to the hotel's pool and spa for a dip and then out to dinner. I honestly think that was the first time since Chris was born that we had anything resembling a date. The food show was fun too, but the hightlight was definately getting some one-on-one time with Tom. We reminisced about the old days B.C (Before Children) and talked of plans for our future. There is not doubt that we are going to put a monthly "date night" at the top of priorities. It's so hard to do, especially since baby-sitters are so darn expensive. But I think I will make it a challenge to find things for us to do that don't cost a small fourtune outside of the sitter....going to the beach for a night-time picnic, window shopping through of the little shopping malls or checking out a highschool play (tickets are cheaper than theater). We'll find something to do...we just need to do somehthing!

Tom, Tom, Tom....

I remeber some advice my mother gave me a long time ago. She said this long before i got married, in fact I think she told me this before I even started dating. she said 'Don't ever date or marry man thinking you are going to change him....it never works.". Oh how right she was. Of course I went through several years of dating the wrong guy and was absolutely sure that with enough perserverence he would change to the"man I knew he could be" Blah Blah Blah. Mom was right it absolutley doesn't work. So when I met Tom I made a decision to love him for who he is, The good things: his incredible love for me and his kids, his ability to make anything fun, always being the life of the party, and his never-ending generosity. The things I had to accept: His ex-wife and the child-support payment that comes with her, always being the life of the party (yes both good and bad) and his unbeliveable stubborness. When Tom puts his mind to something there is no stopping him. So when he came home and had done this to his truck, there wasn't much I could say. There it is in all its glory: Tom's Bud Light Mobile. I think he did it just so I wouldn't drive his baby....cuz I sure ain't driving the kids around in that thing!

Gotta Love the South

I think there is a misunderstanding between southerners and northerners I feel obligated to explain. First I should say (so I can prove my expertise on the subject) I still consider my self a northerner who has now lived in the South 10 long years. I was thinking about the term "southern hospitality" the other day and how so many people - especially northerners -misunderstand exactly what this entails. This came about because I had bought a necklace for my sister Shari for Christmas through Walmart.com. The clasp broke within 2 weeks and she tried to return it to the store. They told her she had to return it through the mail because it was bought online. She, of course, was not happy with this and asked to speak to the manager. In the end, they replaced the clasp with one from another necklace. As she told me the story and retold her frustrations with the girl at the counter, I tried to imagine that same scenario in my local walmart. The story would tell more like this ......"I went to the store and waited 20 minutes for anyone to notice I was at the jewelry counter, once they did come to the counter and stopped talking to their co-worker I was told "No" and they looked at me with a complete look of indifference and walked away." This is what got me thinking about how different the customer service is here vs. what I experience when I head back up north for a visit and how so many visitors to our Island are flabbergasted by the lack of "good customer service" here in the South. I think too many people associate that good 'ol boy friendly southern hospitality with a willingness to work. I have often said that I am born of the "Midwest mentality". You grow up - go to work everyday - work hard and don't rock and boats - have a family - retire - and die. It's the working hard part that is different for those south of the Mason/Dixon line. Webster defines the term hospitable as "given to generous and cordial reception of guests." This is important to note because I have witnessed countless times southerners opening their homes for huge feasts. But this friendly sit-around-all-day sipping iced tea and eating shrimp tends not to follow these folk into the workplace. It is not uncommon to have to wait for a customer service rep at a store to finish a conversation about Bubba's new girlfriend before they look at you. I know most people take this as extremely rude - but to southerners, there is nothing so urgent that needs to be done before the thing they are currently doing. You may be wondering why I stay here if I'm complaining so much about the people I've lived among for 10 years - but I'm not complaining! I have completely accepted the fact that I may not get all my questions answered or will have to wait a little longer in line. I know that 'Southern Hospitality" does not extend as far as the Walmart on 278 in Hardeeville - it's stops at their front door.

My wonderful, pain-in-the-butt 3-year-old

My faith had been restored in my parenting skills and my son. We went to a party last night at one of Tom's co-worker's house. I was apprehensive about going because the host has no children, and we weren't sure if anyone who was coming had children either. We've been invited to plenty of parties where the hosts say "oh it's fine-definitely bring the kids, we'd love to see them!" Then my kids get to their immaculate home expensively decorated with items that probably cost more than I make in a year. I spend much of the time running after Chris and yelling at TJ. Not much fun for me or the kids. But last night we had a great time. The house was fairly kid-friendly (turns out she has grand kids) and there were four other kids there. But here's what really got me, there was a 3 year old boy there who was an absolute BRAT! As soon as we walked through the door he stood in the corner of the room with arms crossed screaming "I don't WANT to play with HIM". while pointing at TJ. He stole TJ and Chris' toys and grabbed both their juice boxes right out of their hands and drank them. The whole night I tried to figure out which adult belonged to this demon child - it was difficult since no one was disciplining him. I finally pin-pointed the mother out to be the woman who sat on the couch all night not speaking to anyone, including her child. I guess if my kid behaved that way, maybe I wouldn't want to claim him either. But, as I said earlier, I now have new faith in myself as a parent. TJ may be a very energetic child who constantly pushes boundaries, but at least he has boundaries. He is always mindfull of other kids (especially his brother) and very polite to adults - most of the time! The boy last night reminded me of a couple of things: First -TJ is a good kid, he loves to test and push me to my limit, but overall he IS a good kid! And second - Parenting is difficult and being constantly aware of your child's behavior is the first sign you are a good parent.

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year

We made it! The holidays are officailly over, the decorations are almost down, presents are put away and I have to go back to work after nearly 12 days off. I think we had a successfull Christmas. This may be first year the girls are happy with all their presents and we didn't have to return anything - except the camera Jeannelle dropped down the stairs 2 days after Christmas. Anyone who thinks God doesn't have a sense of humor should talk to my mother about my childhood and then meet my kids. Jeannelle definatlely has inheritated by "irresponsible" gene. Yes I know she can't actually "inherit" anything from me, but I have flash backs everytime she's searching the house frantlically for the gift cards she got just 3 days ago, or trying to explain why it wasn't her fault she broke another camera/nintendo/phone. Mom - I've said it before - I AM SO SORRY!
And then there's TJ. We went to Old Navy to spend some gift card money and I had to practically strap TJ to the cart to get him to sit still. He hid under the clothing racks, ran through the store, and eventually climbed up the side of shopping cart knocking it over with his brother still in the seat - strapped in of course, but little good it did as Chris' head hit the metal rack 3 times on the way down. He is rambuctious child - and even more so when we are off our routine. I guess the holidays are stressfull on everyone - even the kids. It will actually be good to go back to work and get our schedule down again. But overall, This was one of the best Christmas' we've had. Four kids in the house always makes things interesting and we had a blast with them.

Bad Day

Well, we've trumped TJ's good day with one really bad day. It started better than most days actually... I had taken the day off so I could get some wrapping done -not having the normal "morning battle" trying to get out of the house and get to work on time is vacation enough for me. I did still take TJ to school - I thought it might be too hard to explain why mommy was wrapping all his presents from Santa. Anyway, as I was leaving the Rec. center, Tom called and said he had been in an accident. Someone had gone through a red light and he T-boned them, stopping him dead in his tracks and spinning them around and off the road. He was fine - shaky and sore - but alive. However, his truck didn't fare so well. Only a year old, that truck was Tom's first brand new care he'd ever owned. I should 't be speaking in past-tense. we haven't actually gotten word the truck is totaled, and we may not know until after Chrismas.
Tom did end up going to the emergency room. His back was pretty sore, and his head was hurting alot. We figured he could see a doctor, get checked out completely and they'd give him some muscle relaxers and send us on our way. I dropped him off and waited with Chris. I waited an hour in the waiting room and decided it was time to go as Christoper dumped water all over himself. Someone had left their cup of water next to their chair on the floor (I'm just praying they weren't in ER because they had a communicable disease). I left my cell with the nurse and left to go pick TJ up from school - so much for wrapping presents. Two hours later there was still no word - starting to wonder what could be taking 3 hours to check out I left the kids with Barb and went back to the ER. Tom was sitting in the same place he had 3 hours ago and had still not seen a doctor. Once he finally saw someone it was just as we expected - they gave him some muscle relaxers and sent him on his way. The took his blood pressure before he left - not surprisingly it was very high. The nurse chalked it up to the pain, but I knew better. Tom can't sit still for 3 hours and wait patiently.
After all this, Tom - not wanting to let a good party go to waste - still wanted to keep to our original plans and go to a Christmas festival in Bluffton. Thinking he's nuts - We went along. It turned out there was no festival - but a lovely live nativity at the methodist church. It was nice and peacefull. We went to get pizza afterward. Just when we were all at our breaking point (highlighted by TJ running into the parking lot and almost getting hit by car) we went straight home and went to bed. This was definatley not one of our "good days". But today is a new day. Tom feels better than he thought he would, and the kids and I are braving the traffic to do some last minute shopping - say a prayer that no one runs a red.

Christmas Fun

The weekends lately have been non-stop. If there's not a Christmas party to attend - there is one to cater. We've packed in every minute of our time with visiting Santa, shopping, or attending some function. Tis the season, I know, and I'm not complaining. Soon it will be all over and we'll be bored and cold in January. The only thing I haven't found time to do is clean my house - I JUST CAN"T FIND TIME - HA!......or that's what I keep telling myself. It's no secret that cleaning is by far one of my least favorite actvities- and I justify it by saying that it is more important to me to spend quality time with my boys than have a clean house. I'm sure Tom would beg to differ - but fortunatley for me he enjoys cleaning.

So last Sunday after church TJ and Tom spent some quality time together. They went to the dump - a very manly thing to do, then got haircuts. Tom was very excited about the "new" style haircut he saw on a little boy in the post office and wanted TJ to have the same cut. Turns out it was a bowl cut - not so much a new style - but pretty cute just the same. That afternoon we all went to our church's "Christmas on Buckwalter" celebration. They had 100 different animals surrounding the nativity scene, including a camel and a kagaroo. Don't remember a kangaroo in the Christmas story - but he sure was cute!

As we we left and were walking back to the car TJ looked up at me and said "this was a good day mom" Well said, TJ.