All is well....

I'm not sure what just happened.  I put my boys to bed exactly seven minutes ago, and I think they are both asleep.  Can it be?  MY boys?  This must be a record.  TJ and Chris usually make a sport out of torturing Mom at bed time. I would not be surprised if the two of them huddle-up and take bets  to see how far they can push me before I blow my lid. 
Most nights I feel like I'm living in an episode of the Super Nanny.  I stand in the middle of the boys bedroom watching TJ use the closet shelf as monkey bars and Chris doing somersaults off the bed and wonder "How did I completely loose control in 30 seconds?"  That's all it takes.  We are normally a nice civilized family.  After dinner the boys can be found quietly playing hotwheels or doing homework.  But then I dare to say those two words  "BED TIME" and the reaction is instantaneous.  I'm convinced that before I left the hospital with my baby boys one of the nurses hypnotized them to immediately turn into lunatics when they hear thoses two words.  It's like a switch has been flipped and it doesn't get turned off until they pass out from pure exhaustion.  This nurse must have also found a way for it to only work with my voice - because I get reports from babysitters and grandparents that the boys "were angels" for them. 
So tonight I will sit here in my quiet house with my sleeping boys and savor every minute until Tom gets home.  What shall I do?  Read?  Take a bath?  Nope.  Think I'll go to bed.  Good Night, it's Bed Time.

My life is a dance

I have a 20 minute commute to work every morning - I know, some would not consider 20 minutes much of a "commute". But still, I savor that 20 minutes of quiet after the chaotic rush of getting myself and the boys up and out the door. It is time to compose myself and get ready for my day ahead. Most days my thoughts are filled with lists; pay the electric bill, call back so-and so, etc. But some days I branch out and start contemplating life - dangerous territory because I usually come to the conclusion that I need to make dramatic changes. Fortunately for Tom, this only lasts for a few days before I fall back into the realization that my life isn't so bad and I just need to focus on successfully getting through each day. But still, those moments of deep contemplation in the car keep me grounded.
One morning last week I was allowing my mind to wander freely and the song "I hope you Dance" by Leann Womack wandered in. (Don't be surprised, my brain is often tuned in to it's own station) As I hummed along to the music in my head, I began to wonder whether I had "danced" through life. My first thought was "yeah I've danced alright, I do the "Two-Step"every day - Two steps forward and two steps back". I then spent the next 15 minutes trying to decide what type of dance best describes my life. I concluded that my life is more a compilation a several different types of dances.

There are times when my life is a Waltz. Tom, my dance partner, and I swing big beautiful circles in perfect step to rhythm of our life. We are organized and in sync with each other. We seem to glide effortlessly around all others in our world.

At other times there is no doubt that my life is a Mosh Pit. Yesterday, for example, I woke up a half-hour early and still managed to lose my keys, forget Chris' lunch. and nearly miss TJ' s bus . These are days that I feel I am just bumping into everyone I meet and at the end of the day I've nothing to show but a couple of bruises. If you've ever been in a Mosh pit you can relate.

The last dance my life can relate to is the Square Dance. This is when I feel there is a "caller" dictating my days. Even if I wanted to dosey-doe with my partner, the caller of my life demands I join the group in the middle. To be fair, just as a dancer voluntarily joins the square dance, I voluntarily make commitments, which inevitably end up feeling like obligations. Some days I just rather sit at home and play Hot wheels with Chris.

My dance style changes often and It's hard to say whether it is I or my surroundings that change. But I can feel myself ebb and flow out of these distinct styles, sometimes from day to day. Such is the rhythm of life - dancing to the music of children screaming, phones ringing, and TVs blaring. I wouldn't have it any other way.

Resolutions

It's not even Christmas yet, and I'm already plotting out my plans and resolutions for 2010. The usual checklist of to-do's is always there; 1) lose weight 2) spend more time with the kids 3) read more books,etc. etc. They stay there every year because, inevitably like most people, I'm resolution-determined for about3 months. By April I'm eating whatever I want and yelling at the kids for interrupting my favorite TV show. I sometimes mix it up a bit and throw in something different. My favorite was when I was going to learn something new everyday. And with the power of Google - it was definitely possible. But Alas, that too went by the way-side. Some would wonder why I make resolutions at all? What's the point if it is a grave certainty that I will eventually fail. But If I can say nothing else for myself, I am persistent in my pursuit of self-improvement - I just don't want it to inconvenience my comfortable life. I really would like to be skinny, have well-behave children, and be able to have deep discussions in my non-existent book club about the significance of the color purple. - But my persistence to continually start something new does not come with a side of self-control. This year my new-year's resolution is to keep my resolution. In order to accomplish this I must think small. For example, I could resolve to not put mayonnaise on my sandwiches - If I do that for a whole year, maybe I could step up to cutting out cheese in 2011 - I could reach my goal weight just in time for TJ's high school graduation.
But ultimately whatever I resolve will not matter as much as the endless chase of pure contentment with myself. "The thrill of the chase", as they say, and I shall "enjoy the ride" - and any other cliche I can think of that will make me feel better about spending a very long time reaching my goals.

Children are like the "Borg"

I will go ahead and apologize up front to all of you who are not "Trekkies". You may not understand any of this.....

Sometime during my college years I started watching Star Trek the Next Generation - great show if you've never seen it , I'd say one of my favorites of all time. There is just something about Jean Luke Picard.*Sigh* I was totally in love with him, despite him to be a balding man twice my age (hhmmm foreshadowing?) My roommate actually bought me an action figure of Jean Luke I used to keep next to my bed....I still have it somewhere.

Among the numerous species in the Star Trek world there is an alien race called "The Borg". Half synthetic, Half Organic, the Borg is a collective of machines that need organic life forms to survive. They "assimilate" their victims into the collective. Physically he/she would still be alive, but their mind would be part of the Borg as a whole - pretty cool alien species, even if they are evil. One of the coolest things about the Borg is their ability to adapt to technology almost instantly. The crew of the Enterprise could shoot their laser guns at a few Borg and would kill them - but the collective would soon adapt to the technology and they would have to "turn up" their lasers to a stronger level. There is a scene in the movie where Jean Luke is shooting at the Borg and manages to take a few down before you see their heads twitch as if they are processing new data and then the ray guns that were working two seconds earlier become useless. This is the scene that came to my mind the other night as we were disciplining the boys. I remember when the punishments were so simple, time-out in the corner or a swift swat on the hand. But kids adapt, and become immune to punishments, just like the Borg. Our time-outs have gotten longer, the "swats" have turned into full-out spankings, and I'm constantly watching out for what they hold dearest to them - because that is what will get taken away. I have smart little boys, they quickly adapt to my punishments - something that worked yesterday may not work today. TJ told me several times last night that I was mean. Thank goodness - I was afraid I wasn't doing my job. There are times when I can look into Chris' eyes and swear he is about to say " Mom....Resistance is futile". But, just like my hero Jean-Luke, I will adapt and ultimately I will win because I'm working for the greater good of developing these little boys into kind, polite, thoughtful men.

TJ and Chris?????

Seriously...HOW DOES HE GET THIS DIRTY???

My Funny Kids...

T.J.'s awesome bedtime prayer - "Dear Jesus, thank you for super powers, but I really wish I had a jet pack"

Chris' Labor-Day gift to me - "mommy, I pooped on the rug"

T.J.'s biggest accomplishment - after creating a fishing pole out of a broom stick, some fishing line and a dead bug he found in the garage - he caught a bass in the pond across the street with the first "cast".

Chris' offer to the bank teller - "I'm a big boy, wanna see me underwear?" (said as he pulled down his pants)

T.J.'s new word - During his homework time he was supposed to draw something he can hear. So he chose to draw a dinedom. No I have no Idea what that is - but he told me it's something that flies in your ear when you're trying to think.

Chris' declaration - "I tooted". Also said at the bank, just moments after he pulled down his pants .

Yeah!! An Updated Blog!!

Once Again, I find myself far behind in my blog postings. I have quite a bit to catch you up on since June. So here It goes......

July 23 - August 1st

We took our annual trip up north, this time to New York to visit Tom's parents. The trip started off with a bang when I started choking on a roast beef sandwich within the first hour of driving. Tom had to pull over the car when I vomited all over the front seat trying to force myself to breathe. I followed that little show with a fall flat on my back at the state park, the stomach flu at his brother's house and a bad head cold two days later. I ended the trip with conjunctivitis in my right eye. But through all that, it was exactly what I needed to revitalize my spirit and put me back into focus. There is no doubt that it is absolutely beautiful up there, and Grandma Sue has done amazing job landscaping her back yard with gorgeous flowers and plants and which made a very peaceful spot to drink my coffee and relax each morning. The entire family (minus Annalisa, who was on a mission trip) had a great time catching up with the family we don't see often enough. The trip really made Tom and I wonder....why DO we live so far away?

August 4

Surprise! You have company! Okay it wasn't really a surprise for me, but we did surprise the kids with a visit from their cousins in OH. My whole family, Michelle, Ken, the cousins, Shari, Mom, & Dad all came for a

"last-minute-decision" visit. We got to see both sets of families this year!

August 8
TJ's Birthday!!! Yes - I know my son's birthday is the 11th. But we had his party on the 8th. This was our first real big party for him, and we did it right! The local fire department came out and told the kids all about fire trucks. We rented a water slide (thank goodness, because it was in the 90's) and Jeannelle even made a home-made fire engine cake. I think we enjoyed making the cake more that we did eating it....although that was good too!

August 17

TJ's first day of Kindergarten. AAAHHH my baby is going to school!!!! I was so proud of how excited he was, and how ready he seemed. He has fallen into school like he was just meant to be there. Of course, for TJ it is just one big social event (he's so much like his dad) But he's doing pretty well on the school work too. He didn't protest too much when I made sight-word flash cards and surprisingly enjoys his art class the most. He's convinced that the school gives him free food, because although he eats breakfast at home and I pack his lunch everyday, for the first week of school he insisted on going through the lunch line. I got suspicious when he would come home with his entire lunch. The kid was eating two breakfasts and a lunch and giving me a negative balance with the school! "But mom, I don't have to pay!" They probably think he has a mother who doesn't feed him.

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August 21

My best friend's mom died on this day. Kelly - my heart is breaking for your family, and pray that the healing comes quickly. Marci - you will be deeply missed, but have a good dance in Heaven for me!_____________________________________________________

Today, September 1

I believe that's it for now. That sums up my last month fairly well...without all the stress, emotional break downs, and temper tantrums (from Chris, not me......okay maybe a few from me too) As I always promise, I will try to update this more frequently. Happy September anyway....just in case I don't get back!