Merry Christmas!

Treading Water

I am writing this morning to purge myself of some negative, self-pitying thoughts that are consuming me. I will spill them out onto this page and be done with them.....

Tom and I made several bad decisions a few years ago. It started with listening whole-heartily to the wrong people and not taking the smart advice of the right people. That' is when we stepped into owing/operating Tapas restaurant. From there, we made a further disastrous decision by leasing-to-own and eventually buying our current house. We have since sold the restaurant, but in order to do this - we lumped all the debt and, essentially, all the bad decisions into this house. So now we are selling the house.

All of this is important because I have been told and believed for a long time that Tom and I just had bad luck. If anything could go wrong - it would. So Last night, just when I was starting to feel really good about the direction we were heading with our future financially, our bathtub leaked and flooded our entire laundry room downstairs. Most likely the ceiling and the bathtub will have to be replaced. Financial emergency - Again. But I am writing this to remind myself of a few things: 1) God is in control now. For the first time ever I have turned my finances over to him and I know he will take care of me. 2) This directly relates to decisions we made 5 years ago. Tom and I are still dealing with those same rash decisions that we made so long ago.
However, this is a light at the end of this long tunnel. I truly believe that with the sale of the house (once we repair it) that we will be saying goodbye to our old way of decision making for good. We will literally close the door on a chapter in our lives that brought upon much stress and anguish -which was entirely self-inflicted. I am so ready to start this life that it's killing me. But again, I remind myself that God is in charge, and learning patience is part of the process. So I will continue to plug along and tread water until his plan for us is revealed.....but I can still pray that it comes sooner rather than later!

Some time this Fall, I think it was mid-September, I went into a blurry haze of sleep deprivation that I'm finally starting to awaken from. Within this time of fogginess a few key things have happened: Chris turned 2 and started talking, We put our house on the market, I cut my foot on a ceramic cupcake and gained 10 lbs. and most importantly I finally let go of my control issues with money and am letting God rule my finances. With all the madness of life I missed posting my Thanksgiving list of things I'm thankful for. So here it goes.....

I am unbelievably, undeniably thankful for:

God's grace - he is constantly picking me back up

TJ, Chris, and Tom - they are why I get out of bed each morning

Mom & Dad who always have good advice, even if I don't take it

My sisters who listen unconditionally to my babble and forgive my self-centeredness

My best friend kelly and her beautiful new baby girl - Emmary

My job and Tom's job - just the fact that we still have one, so many people don't this holiday

Saxby-Chambliss won GA and the democrats don't have full control of the house :)

Tacos - so easy to make and soooooo good!

Christmas Trees farms and hot chocolate - even when it's 70 degrees out

my electric toothbrush

Books on CD

The Fox news channel on Sirius Satellite radio

Heroes - so worth staying up for on Monday nights

Some pictures are just too priceless to not be posted on the internet......

Little Brothers.....

This just makes me laugh.

Does that make me crazy?

There are many things in my life right now that people would call crazy. But giving an almost 2 year-old and a 4 year-old paint brushes and paint and letting them "go for it" on my walls.......I have lost it.

How did we get here? **WARNING POLITICAL RANT**

Someone please tell me how we got to the point where the most liberal democrat in Washington is dangerously close to being elected? Someone needs to point out to Senator Obama that although he wants to only tax those who make over $250,000 (or is it $200,00? He keeps changing) That those are the people with small businesses that create Jobs!!!! When has anyone ever gotten hired by a poor person? Why is it the government's job to redistribute wealth? If poor people want to become wealthy tell them to stop making stupid decisions with their life, stop living off the government and go out and GET A JOB. Of course they may not be able to find one after Obama taxes business so much they start laying people off.
And did you know that Mr. Pro Choice voted 3 times against a bill that mandated hospitals take care of babies that survive abortions? One nurse testified that she saw babies taken to the hospital's "soil room" to die. The child was left in a dirty nasty room for hours until he/she finally couldn't hold out any more. One baby survived for more than 8 hours struggling to breath. Abortion is murder. There is no way around it. As soon as that child is conceived God has a plan for him/her. And because the child is an inconvenience to the parents murder becomes legal. Please tell me why we are aborting our babies and making it so hard for people to adopt unwanted children that perspective parents find it easier and cheaper to go to Russia or China to adopt a baby. I was asked once how, as a woman, I couldn't be pro-choice. Because, "as a woman" I am also a mother - and being a mother gives you a whole different perspective when a child is being hurt. I can't stand it. Just because that child is still in the womb doesn't make it less of a child - that's just location. That's like saying I'm going to move to Canada and become a monkey.
One last point.....I believe that most people are voting for Barak Obama because he is different. He looks different and he talks of change - and people want change. I understand that, but I don't think they are really looking at the issues to understand what kind of change they are going to bring. I heard one woman on the radio say she was voting for Obama because she likes the way he ran his campaign. UUUGGHH that is so frustrating - GET EDUCATED PEOPLE!!! Stop voting for the pretty, smooth talking candidates and really look and what you are doing.

Okay, I'm done for now. I'm sure I offended a whole slew of people out there. But it's my Blog...so there!

Revelations

I've been doing a lot of thinking lately....so much so that Tom has asked me to please stop thinking because I'm making his head hurt. But through all this thinking and praying I've come to a few realizations or "revelations" as I call them......

Revelation #1 - My career goals do not end with me running an office at a Recreation Center. One morning, while lying in bed and saying my "good-morning God - help me get out of bed" prayer - it suddenly became clear that I was to go back to school and become a Kindergarten teacher. And when I say "suddenly' I mean "SUDDENLY"!! I have never showed the least bit of interest in teaching. I've always had a lot of respect for teachers...its a job that takes a lot of patience and hard work, without always seeing the rewards. But after a lot of praying...and panicking....I decided this was where I should be heading. Let the quest begin!!! Okay God, now what???? "Well", I thought, "what does it take to go back to school?' MONEY!!! Okay, I've got none of that. Where do I start? This is what lead to my second revelation....

Revelation #2 - I am a financial idiot. I have no idea how to control mine or my husband's spending habits, I love instant gratification and I make stupid decisions because of that. If there were such thing, I would be president of the FIA - Financial Idiots Anonymous. I can now stand up and say, "My name is Karin Condame - and I'm a financial idiot. God works in mysterious ways, when I had finally come to terms that his plan for me was to teach, I got a letter a few days later from my roommate in college. She had just gone through an awful year of buying a restaurant and nearly going bankrupt because of it. She was told about Dave Ramsey's Financial Peace University and managed to pay off $13,000 worth of credit card debt in just few months. I was interested in how she did that so I went to library and got his book "The Total Money Makeover" after the 1st chapter, I had come realize that if I ever wanted to go back to school I needed to stop living paycheck to paycheck and mostly stop blaming everything else for our bad spending habits. It's not the restaurant, it's not the child support, it's not because our cars keep breaking down - those things don't help, but if we had a sensible plan and budget to begin with those problems wouldn't seem so bad. Taking responsibility and admitting I have a problem is the first step...right? So now were on a road to financial recovery.

Those were my two big revelations. I think that's enough "revealing" for now. Tom can't handle anymore changes. He's truly afraid that tomorrow I'm going to decide we need to pick up and move to Alaska or something. No Alaska for me...I'm too busy staring at excel spreadsheets and obsessing over the $2 I went over-budget grocery shopping last week.

Catch up

It's been so long since I posted that I decided to title this blog exactly what it is....a catch up of little blurbs that will hopefully fill in the gap of the last 3 months.





My awesome husband brought my best friend Kelly down from PA for my birthday. She came down on Friday and was sitting on our back porch with a bow on her head. Saturday we went to the day spa and got manicures and pedicures. Then went to lunch at a Mexican restaurant on the harbour. We then went to see the "Sex and the City" movie. After the movie we went out to dinner with Tom and the kids. The day ended with Kelly and I lying in bed in the guest room watching Harry Potter. NOTHING gets better than that!






We had a great summer. Jeannelle was here for most of it and she was a big help with the boys. TJ spent the summer in "big camp" with Kindergartner's and now believes he should be going in Kindergarten. We spent a lot of time at the pool and I still don't have a tan.

We had so much fun in Ohio visiting my family this year. We piled the whole family, including the two girls, into a mini-van and drove up for a whirl-wind week of activities. Mom said she wanted to keep us so busy that we collapsed into bed at night...and she succeeded! The first half of the week was spent at the Island. We managed to have 14 of us in a 2-bedroom cabin. The Stumps were good enough to sleep int their tent for a few days - while the rest of us managed to find beds...not necessarily in bedrooms - but we're not picky. The last half of the week we went to Cedar Point and the Cleveland Zoo. We had a blast. The only one who seemed to not completely enjoy himself was Chris. His life is pretty much a vacation, so i think he was confused as to why we had to take him away from his comfortable life to sit in a car for 11 hours to go somewhere he doesn't know to see people he doesn't know. He was so happy to be home that he walked around the house singing our first day back. Oh well, some day he learn to appreciate it!

I just had to throw this picture in. We put in a playground set and did our best to landscape our pine-straw back yard. But why did we bother? I think the boys would have been happier with the mud pit. They still found one section of dirt.

Reach to the sky!!

I consider myself (for the most part) to be a pretty good mom. I spend as much time as I can playing with them, I'm firm when I must me - which is a lot with toddler boys - and I take them to church and Sunday School every week. But I had to stop and review what I've been doing wrong when Tj was swiinging on his swing set and said to me, "Mom, I'm going to swing so high I'm going to kick God in the butt". Hhhmmm....What would God think of that? I like to think that he got as good a chuckle out of it as I did.

Looking back at my previous posts, I realize that It's been a while since I posted some recent pics and videos of the kids. Obviously, I find it much more entertaining to pick on my husband....can you blame me? But really, I should at least give a brief update on those two little boys who have an amazing way of making me want to hug them and strangle them at the same time.

TJ constantly surprises me with how much he knows (if you ask him he knows everything). There is a reason kids are called "sponges". He absorbs everything we do and say and can repeat it at any given moment - whether you want him to or not. There's definitely no pulling a fast one on this kid, you tell him we'll go to the pool later on the weekend - and Saturday morning he's putting on his swim suit before breakfast. My plan this summer was to teach him to ride a bike without training wheels - I figured it would be a good summer activity and it might take him that long to get the hang of it. So we took the training wheels off the bike and ran beside him holding on just like you're supposed to. Only TJ had other plans in mind. He soon was going faster than I could run and took off on his own. He stopped and looked at me like "so what was so hard about that?" I posted a video below of him doing one of his "tricks" which is really just graceful falling - but I promise you he was ok.


Chris was my "easy" baby. He never fussed much, he went right to sleep in his crib, and started sleeping through the night by 6 weeks. I thought I had it made - until he reached toddler-hood. I often wonder what an 18 month old has to be so angry about? Mostly he just wants what he wants when he wants it. And if he doesn't get it - the arms start flailing, the head gets thrown back and the screaming starts. Whoo- I now realize I was pretty lucky with TJ being so layed back. But of course he's also incredibly adorable and extremely funny. He has whole conversations with you without you being able to understand one word. He's also extremely happy...most of the time. He wakes up in crib and is smiling, sometimes talking away to the the stuff animals. TJ and I - who are not so happy at 7am - are completely baffled by this behavior. There is no doubt that Chris will be the comedian of our family.

So here's some videos and pictures....

New Playground in Backyard....Thanks Grandma Sue & Papa Pete!





TJ's Big Jump Chris' Big Jump

TJ's "Trick"

Tom's Birthday

I can no longer complain about Tom' budlight obsession....I've totally given him a free pass to collect a much stuff as he likes! What other wife do you know that would turn their garage into a Budlight shrine for her husband's birthday. I figured if he's going to keep collecting stuff, he might as well have a nice place to show it off.....not in the house!

Another Great Tom Story

Well one more year of Heritage has come and gone and Tom and I managed to survive. This is the 6th year we've been managing the commissary for the concession booths and we still are in awe of what an amazing week it is. It is so much work (much more now with two kids in the mix) but when we are sitting in our golf cart on the 18th hole over-looking the calibouge sound watching the PGA pros walk past us, we know it's definitely a privilege to be part of such a cool event. If the subject of moving away from the area is ever brought up, we quickly squelch the thought knowing wherever we move or whatever job we took - it most likely wouldn't include spending a week being paid to hang out on a golf course. Each year we've done this we seem to get a little smarter about our job at the commissary, but there are always the "fires" that need to be put out - and there's always a good story to be told. So here's this year's "good story". I must preface this with saying that If Tom had a say in what I wrote on this blog this would be a completely different story.

It was Thursday of the tournament and it had already been a long week. It's hard for me to leave the kids in someone else's constant care, the normal "guilty" feelings that are a part of the normal make-up of any mom take over. I know I need to be at the commissary but the questions "are my in-laws tired of the kids?" and "am I taking advantage of my sister being here on vacation?" kept creeping into my thoughts...even with the few beers I had. The busiest part of the week was still ahead of us and I already felt I hadn't seen the kids enough. So when Tom wanted to go to the "19th hole" (a golf term for BAR) I reluctantly said o.k. I figured another hour would be okay. I should have known better. Needless to say an hour quickly turned to two and I was getting very cranky and ready to go. Just as I finally got Tom in the golf cart a small cute blond woman (who I had noticed was paying a lot of attention to Tom earlier) bounced up to Tom asking him to drive her to the club house - which by the way was about 50 yards away - max. I quickly stepped in and said we needed to get home to OUR kids. Tom looked at me- almost annoyed that I wanted to go home - and said "come on, we can take her" Just when I was thinking - okay this chick can sit in the back, it is a maintenance cart, but I've sat in the back before - Tom was saying "you stay here - I'll be right back". I don't really remember what I was thinking at that point or why I decided to comply with this idea, but next thing I knew I was left standing there while my husband drove off with a cute blond who was acting 1/2 her age and was obviously in the mood for some more partying. Tom came back about 20 minutes later and we left together and that was the end of it. I teased him about it a bit...I really wasn't mad, kind of amused by the whole thing actually. But by the next day the story had gotten out to the all the vendors and booths (thanks to the Barry the Bud guy who witnessed the whole thing). It was classic. By the end of the week, he had "thrown" me out of the cart and went home with another woman. Of course this was all in fun....the more people teased him, the more defensive he got, which of course just made it more funny. He's actually standing behind me now exclaiming how "everything was blown out of proportion" and "totally exaggerated". HAAHAA!!!! It's my blog...I'll tell the story how I want! :) He won't live this one down for a looonnnnngggg time!

How I know I'm raising a boy

TJ and I were driving home from work yesterday and it was low tide. As we came over the bridge you could easily see al the oyster beds. So I gave a brief science lesson and told him all about oysters and even explained how sometimes a piece of sand can get inside an oyster to make a pearl. He looked thoughtfully out the window for a moment then said "mom, I think there are actually bombs inside the oysters and they are all gonna go BOOOOM! Wouldn't that be cool mom?" Ahhhh Boys, they are not happy unless something is being demolished or destroyed.

FYI

Hey everyone! I just changed my settings so anyone should be able to post a comment now. Not just registered users of blogspot! So start writing me back!

Time to reboot

I'm sure some of you thought I was never going to post again, for those of you who check in regularly, I'm sorry...I hope you didn't loose faith that I would be back. I just realized that Febuary is gone. Just like that a whole month of my life was gone in a blink. Okay, maybe that's a little dramatic, but it sure did feel like that. Somewhere along the line a few months ago I decided it would be a good idea to take a second job at the church working 2 nights a week in the nursery. I know what posessed me to do this...it was the extra money, of course. But I sure have learned a lesson about over-doing it. In my former life - B.C., "Before Children" when I needed extra money, I got an extra job. No big deal, I had all this time between 5pm and 11pm that would otherwise be spent getting into trouble or spending money. Now, however, I have two very young boys who's whole sanity relies on me sticking to a routine and schedule. So the 2 nights a week activities are out, and I'm going to stick to this for a while. I know as the boys get into sports and afterschool activities only one night a week will be impossible - but I hope as they get older maybe they'll adjust better.
I have to say that the job wasn't the only reason February was a crazy month. The whole family, me , Tom, TJ and Chris all got really sick. For three weeks we were all fighting cold, flu, sinus infections etc. Mom and Dad were in town thank goodness...because they helped a lot. But of course they were sick too. Then there was the vesectomy that went very wrong. I won't go into too much detail, mostly because I still couldn't explain to you exactly what went wrong. Let's just say what started out as a simple in-office procedure turned into a two-day ordeal that ended with Tom in the operating room. If that wasn't enough Tom has been suffering from a headache that won't go away. The month ended with a MRI of tom's brain. We were happy to know it was "clear"..... I asked if that meant there was no activity at all??? All is fine but we're still trying to pin-point the cause of the headache. I'll keep you updated.
The last few weeks have made me feel like my computer when I have too many windows open. My life is a series of windows, each with it's own program agenda it is trying to accomplish and with each task I ask it to do it runs slower and slower. I had so many thoughts and worries going through my brain I felt like I had "SYSTEM FAILURE" written acrossed my forehead flashing in neon. I have no other choice but to shut down and reboot. I will go to sleep tonight and wake in the morning to the first Monday of a brand new month with a new hope and attitude. March is going to be a great month! I need to start taking my walks again, stick to routine I have set for the kids whenever I can and find time to spend with Tom. The system will run fine until I start running too many programs again (as I always do) and then I'll reboot again. But for now...Good Night!

Date Night

Tom and I went up to Charleston last night for a food show and the kids stayed with mom. I think I'm in shock from having a whole 24 hours of just Tom and I to ourselves. We left yesterday (yes we took the bud Light truck) and checked in the Hilton Garden in North Charleston. We were supposed to go a reception for Sysco customers that night - free dinner, drinks and dancing - which of course meant that Tom and I decided not to go. Free or not, neither of us were in any mood to go dancing. So instead we headed to the hotel's pool and spa for a dip and then out to dinner. I honestly think that was the first time since Chris was born that we had anything resembling a date. The food show was fun too, but the hightlight was definately getting some one-on-one time with Tom. We reminisced about the old days B.C (Before Children) and talked of plans for our future. There is not doubt that we are going to put a monthly "date night" at the top of priorities. It's so hard to do, especially since baby-sitters are so darn expensive. But I think I will make it a challenge to find things for us to do that don't cost a small fourtune outside of the sitter....going to the beach for a night-time picnic, window shopping through of the little shopping malls or checking out a highschool play (tickets are cheaper than theater). We'll find something to do...we just need to do somehthing!

Tom, Tom, Tom....

I remeber some advice my mother gave me a long time ago. She said this long before i got married, in fact I think she told me this before I even started dating. she said 'Don't ever date or marry man thinking you are going to change him....it never works.". Oh how right she was. Of course I went through several years of dating the wrong guy and was absolutely sure that with enough perserverence he would change to the"man I knew he could be" Blah Blah Blah. Mom was right it absolutley doesn't work. So when I met Tom I made a decision to love him for who he is, The good things: his incredible love for me and his kids, his ability to make anything fun, always being the life of the party, and his never-ending generosity. The things I had to accept: His ex-wife and the child-support payment that comes with her, always being the life of the party (yes both good and bad) and his unbeliveable stubborness. When Tom puts his mind to something there is no stopping him. So when he came home and had done this to his truck, there wasn't much I could say. There it is in all its glory: Tom's Bud Light Mobile. I think he did it just so I wouldn't drive his baby....cuz I sure ain't driving the kids around in that thing!

Gotta Love the South

I think there is a misunderstanding between southerners and northerners I feel obligated to explain. First I should say (so I can prove my expertise on the subject) I still consider my self a northerner who has now lived in the South 10 long years. I was thinking about the term "southern hospitality" the other day and how so many people - especially northerners -misunderstand exactly what this entails. This came about because I had bought a necklace for my sister Shari for Christmas through Walmart.com. The clasp broke within 2 weeks and she tried to return it to the store. They told her she had to return it through the mail because it was bought online. She, of course, was not happy with this and asked to speak to the manager. In the end, they replaced the clasp with one from another necklace. As she told me the story and retold her frustrations with the girl at the counter, I tried to imagine that same scenario in my local walmart. The story would tell more like this ......"I went to the store and waited 20 minutes for anyone to notice I was at the jewelry counter, once they did come to the counter and stopped talking to their co-worker I was told "No" and they looked at me with a complete look of indifference and walked away." This is what got me thinking about how different the customer service is here vs. what I experience when I head back up north for a visit and how so many visitors to our Island are flabbergasted by the lack of "good customer service" here in the South. I think too many people associate that good 'ol boy friendly southern hospitality with a willingness to work. I have often said that I am born of the "Midwest mentality". You grow up - go to work everyday - work hard and don't rock and boats - have a family - retire - and die. It's the working hard part that is different for those south of the Mason/Dixon line. Webster defines the term hospitable as "given to generous and cordial reception of guests." This is important to note because I have witnessed countless times southerners opening their homes for huge feasts. But this friendly sit-around-all-day sipping iced tea and eating shrimp tends not to follow these folk into the workplace. It is not uncommon to have to wait for a customer service rep at a store to finish a conversation about Bubba's new girlfriend before they look at you. I know most people take this as extremely rude - but to southerners, there is nothing so urgent that needs to be done before the thing they are currently doing. You may be wondering why I stay here if I'm complaining so much about the people I've lived among for 10 years - but I'm not complaining! I have completely accepted the fact that I may not get all my questions answered or will have to wait a little longer in line. I know that 'Southern Hospitality" does not extend as far as the Walmart on 278 in Hardeeville - it's stops at their front door.

My wonderful, pain-in-the-butt 3-year-old

My faith had been restored in my parenting skills and my son. We went to a party last night at one of Tom's co-worker's house. I was apprehensive about going because the host has no children, and we weren't sure if anyone who was coming had children either. We've been invited to plenty of parties where the hosts say "oh it's fine-definitely bring the kids, we'd love to see them!" Then my kids get to their immaculate home expensively decorated with items that probably cost more than I make in a year. I spend much of the time running after Chris and yelling at TJ. Not much fun for me or the kids. But last night we had a great time. The house was fairly kid-friendly (turns out she has grand kids) and there were four other kids there. But here's what really got me, there was a 3 year old boy there who was an absolute BRAT! As soon as we walked through the door he stood in the corner of the room with arms crossed screaming "I don't WANT to play with HIM". while pointing at TJ. He stole TJ and Chris' toys and grabbed both their juice boxes right out of their hands and drank them. The whole night I tried to figure out which adult belonged to this demon child - it was difficult since no one was disciplining him. I finally pin-pointed the mother out to be the woman who sat on the couch all night not speaking to anyone, including her child. I guess if my kid behaved that way, maybe I wouldn't want to claim him either. But, as I said earlier, I now have new faith in myself as a parent. TJ may be a very energetic child who constantly pushes boundaries, but at least he has boundaries. He is always mindfull of other kids (especially his brother) and very polite to adults - most of the time! The boy last night reminded me of a couple of things: First -TJ is a good kid, he loves to test and push me to my limit, but overall he IS a good kid! And second - Parenting is difficult and being constantly aware of your child's behavior is the first sign you are a good parent.

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year

We made it! The holidays are officailly over, the decorations are almost down, presents are put away and I have to go back to work after nearly 12 days off. I think we had a successfull Christmas. This may be first year the girls are happy with all their presents and we didn't have to return anything - except the camera Jeannelle dropped down the stairs 2 days after Christmas. Anyone who thinks God doesn't have a sense of humor should talk to my mother about my childhood and then meet my kids. Jeannelle definatlely has inheritated by "irresponsible" gene. Yes I know she can't actually "inherit" anything from me, but I have flash backs everytime she's searching the house frantlically for the gift cards she got just 3 days ago, or trying to explain why it wasn't her fault she broke another camera/nintendo/phone. Mom - I've said it before - I AM SO SORRY!
And then there's TJ. We went to Old Navy to spend some gift card money and I had to practically strap TJ to the cart to get him to sit still. He hid under the clothing racks, ran through the store, and eventually climbed up the side of shopping cart knocking it over with his brother still in the seat - strapped in of course, but little good it did as Chris' head hit the metal rack 3 times on the way down. He is rambuctious child - and even more so when we are off our routine. I guess the holidays are stressfull on everyone - even the kids. It will actually be good to go back to work and get our schedule down again. But overall, This was one of the best Christmas' we've had. Four kids in the house always makes things interesting and we had a blast with them.